Thankful

As I write this, I’m sitting in the nearly empty airport terminal at an absolutely ungodly hour, even for a morning person like me. I’m running on two hours of sleep, nearly locked myself out of my apartment, forgot my coffee in the car, and the humidity is making me feel like I never actually showered. Needless to say – not the morning I was anticipating. (But when does any traveler get what’s expected? haha)

The blessing of a hectic morning and being at the airport so early though is that I now have time to sit and think. Time to slow down and rest, be reflective, and ponder how I got here. And while it is a bit of miracle that I made it here to the airport this morning, I’m more amazed that I made it here – here to this new space in my life. Here to the place where I’m returning to Rwanda, and I’m thankful for all those things in life that have pointed me to this very place.

I’m thankful for the petrifying moment in my senior year of college when I chose to cross any graduate program in a history-related field off my list and the subsequent decision to go home after graduation.

I’m thankful for the rejection letter from the graduate program I had my heart set on.

I’m thankful for the countless unreturned calls and emails and dead ends for different study abroad and overseas internship opportunities.

I’m thankful for constant changes at work for so many months and the uncertainty that comes with it.

I’m thankful that I was turned down for the “perfect” job in my field after graduation.

You see, as I walked through each of these moments and seasons of life, they were definitely not pleasant. Even as I recall them now, I can still feel the twinges of panic, rejection, confusion, hurt, and discouragement that have come with each one. And yet, each of these seemingly “negative” experiences has directly impacted my ability to be sitting right here in the airport at this ungodly hour after a hectic morning. These experiences have brought me to the right places at the right moments in life in which I have met people who have walked beside me and have introduced me to things I would have never dreamed of for my life as that senior in college sitting in my dorm room with a list of grad programs.

And so I am thankful. I am thankful not only for the good and positive things in life, but also for the things that seemed to be working against me. Every one of these moments and situations has brought me to this absolutely beautiful and exciting new place in life. One of my favorite verses is in Isaiah 55: “’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” What peace there is in knowing that the God I serve has a much bigger plan and much greater thoughts than I could ever think or imagine.