Diving In

Right now I’m sitting on the front porch of our guesthouse at the top of the hill, a cool breeze across my face, and the sound of children singing and drumming drifting down from the nearby school. We’ve had a very full, very long day of training, and it’s nice to relax a bit. As I think back over the day though, my heart and mind are full.

While I worked toward the completion of my masters degree, I remember the strong desire to just be out of the classroom and putting into practice what I was learning. Although I was so excited to be back in school, that many years of education was getting tiring, and I just wanted to start my career. And today, as I dove into facilitation like this for the first time, I was overwhelmed by the realization that I am currently doing what I had been craving to do for so long.

The feeling was so overwhelming that it was nearly paralyzing. No longer was this a role play or a simulation in class or an exercise in a textbook – this was real life, with real people, who have real conflicts in their daily lives. The introvert in me was already nervous about leading, regardless of culture or language, so this added realization was enough to freeze me for a bit. But after I had a few precious moments to process it with my supervisor and with some wonderful words of encouragement from her, I knew I just needed to dive in. As intimidating as it was, I had to start somewhere and learn to work from my heart and not my head on the spot. I can’t lie – despite all the classroom training, there’s a lot that the hours of work and the diploma cannot prepare you for. But as I opened myself up to the opportunity and focused my attention on what the women needed, it became slightly less daunting.

If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that there is a lot of conflict and a lot of pain in this world, and there is a lot that I cannot do. But it’s critical that I do the little that I can. I honestly don’t know what this training will mean for these twenty women after we all part ways tomorrow afternoon. But I can’t help but hold hope that these women will leave feeling even a little more empowered – empowered to manage conflict in their communities, empowered to help others, empowered to support one another, and empowered to take a stand for themselves.