Staying Put

While any Saturday that’s dedicated to rest feels special, this particular quiet Saturday is very special for me. It was a year ago today that I signed the lease on my current apartment and began moving in here after what had been a more-than-eventful few months. This is also the first time that I have renewed my lease for the first time – not moving again, and not a renewed lease on a month-to-month basis in preparation for moving. That’s right…I’m staying put right now.

As I sit here in my kitchen this morning, it’s so hard to believe it’s been a full year since I moved here, and yet at the same time last fall seems like it was another lifetime ago. So much has happened in the past year, but I clearly remember the feeling of thinking I’d never feel settled anywhere. What a blessing it is to be in this same space today, feeling more settled and content than I ever have in my adult life thus far.  

The day I returned from Rwanda last year, I received an email that set a spiral of events in motion. My new roommate situation fell through, leaving me with an apartment I couldn’t afford and too few weeks before the start of school to find a new roommate. I was also in the process of applying for a service position about an hour away from school, which would mean I’d be moving anyways and further complicating the roommate deal. When the service position didn’t pan out, I had three weeks to find a new place to live. I started packing my things and apartment searching…with one week before the move-out deadline and countless apartments looked at and ruled out, I still had nothing lined up. Worst case scenario, an apartment was going to be available the next month, and one of my dear friends was kind enough to open her home to me and let me crash with her for the month. Panic was setting in, but I was desperately trying to trust God – while I was in Rwanda my friends had told me story after story of God’s provision in his timing, and I was clinging to that promise.

I began to move my things out of my place and into my boyfriend’s garage, and with a car full of boxes, I was in a car accident on my way to internship, just days before my lease was up. When the gentleman asked for my address, I burst into tears…it was the first time I fully realized that I didn’t even have a home address to give him. I was at an absolute low and more stressed than I had ever been – I was exhausted and didn’t know how much more I could do, and I was honestly getting tired of trusting God. The very next day though, I received a call while at the store for more boxes from one of the apartment complexes I had looked at – they were running a special which made the rent affordable for me. The best part? It was available in one week! I crouched in the store aisle and cried in relief…God had provided just in time. :)

The next week, I signed my lease and moved into my beautiful new place. I hadn’t even brought a box upstairs before I laid in the middle of the living room floor, just staring at the ceiling and thanking God for the blessing of the apartment. The sense of relief I had is absolutely indescribable.

Lots of people are surprised to find out that I commute at least an hour to work one way – many ask why I don’t move out of New Jersey and closer to the office. But it’s this very piece of my life that prevents me from moving. Given the events of last fall, I know that God has ordained this physical space for this season of my life, and this apartment has been one of the greatest testimonies to God’s faithfulness and provision in my life. It has been a place of healing, a place of comfort, a place in which I have entered into this stage of life called adulthood. It’s also a reminder that God can do the things that we say we’ll never do….like live in New Jersey. ;) For the first time since I left for college, I will live in the same space, full-time, for more than 14 months, and God is teaching me to slow down, stay put, and be content and present right where he has placed me.

And what a beautiful lesson that is to learn.