God of my Present

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately – shocking, right? ;) Thinking about the past, thinking about where I am now, thinking about where on earth I may end up, and thinking about how life might have been different. And naturally, a lot of emotions have come up – some warm and fuzzy, others raw and painful. After the first few weeks of this year, during which I felt so much peace and contentment, this new phase has been particularly unsettling. Although I can intellectually know it’s natural, emotionally it’s exhausting and discouraging.

On my way to church this morning, I was riding this train of thought again. In particular, I was considering the different paths that each of us takes in life. I’ve seen so many links getting passed around Facebook lately about “22 Reasons I Got Married Before Age 22” or “15 Reasons I Waited until I was 30 to Get Married,” and frankly, I’m getting sick of it. Yes, I have my opinions on the matter, and as one who’s almost 26 and still single, I’ll let you guess where I land on the matter. But at the end of the day, life looks different for everyone, and that includes the choice of not only when one gets married, but also if one gets married at all. Who am I to say that someone who is 22 is too young to get married? Just because I wasn’t ready at that age doesn’t mean nobody else is. But at the same time, I don’t want people assuming that those of us taking on our late twenties as singles are somehow “less of an adult” because we don’t have spouses. Could I have been married right out of college? Sure. Would that relationship have been the healthiest for me? Very likely not. And while I don’t have a husband and children to come home to at night, I do have a graduate degree and have both traveled and lived overseas. I really believe that it just comes down to life choices and what we value at certain stages in life – our choices have outcomes, for good or bad, and we just need to be content with those decisions.

So it was with these thoughts running through my head that I walked into church this morning – life choices, where I’ve been, and what the next steps in my career and personal life are. And then our pastor started his sermon titled “Roaming for Rest.” Yep, an entire sermon about the quest for contentment. As he walked us through the passage in Ecclesiastes, he said there are those who will search for fulfillment in work, and those who will search for fulfillment in family. While neither of these things are inherently bad, neither will bring fulfillment if they replace the space in our life that God should fill. If we seek fulfillment in those things rather than God, we miss the meaning of life and the contentment that comes with resting in the Lord.

Even more than that though, we will never be content if we are constantly looking forward to a time when we will be fulfilled in the future. Contentment is not circumstantial and based on external factors, but instead, it’s cultivated internally and is centered on fulfillment in God. And while God will provide for our future with what we need (note: not what we want or perceive to need), he is the God of our present. He is the God of what we encounter today, what we need today, and what is happening right now. He is enough for right now.

As this entire blog can attest, I am certainly not at the place in my life that I thought I’d be as I approach my late twenties. But I am learning to deeply love a God who has provided what I needed in the moment it is needed. While I can dream and plan and hope for tomorrow, I must live in today and trust the God of my present.