While any Saturday that’s dedicated to rest feels special,
this particular quiet Saturday is very special for me. It was a year ago today
that I signed the lease on my current apartment and began moving in here after
what had been a more-than-eventful few months. This is also the first time that
I have renewed my lease for the first time – not moving again, and not a
renewed lease on a month-to-month basis in preparation for moving. That’s
right…I’m staying put right now.
As I sit here in my kitchen this morning, it’s so hard to
believe it’s been a full year since I moved here, and yet at the same time last
fall seems like it was another lifetime ago. So much has happened in the past
year, but I clearly remember the feeling of thinking I’d never feel settled
anywhere. What a blessing it is to be in this same space today, feeling more
settled and content than I ever have in my adult life thus far.
The day I returned from Rwanda last year, I received an
email that set a spiral of events in motion. My new roommate situation fell
through, leaving me with an apartment I couldn’t afford and too few weeks
before the start of school to find a new roommate. I was also in the process of
applying for a service position about an hour away from school, which would mean
I’d be moving anyways and further complicating the roommate deal. When the
service position didn’t pan out, I had three weeks to find a new place to live.
I started packing my things and apartment searching…with one week before the
move-out deadline and countless apartments looked at and ruled out, I still had
nothing lined up. Worst case scenario, an apartment was going to be available
the next month, and one of my dear friends was kind enough to open her home to
me and let me crash with her for the month. Panic was setting in, but I was
desperately trying to trust God – while I was in Rwanda my friends had told me
story after story of God’s provision in his timing, and I was clinging to that
promise.
I began to move my things out of my place and into my
boyfriend’s garage, and with a car full of boxes, I was in a car accident on my
way to internship, just days before my lease was up. When the gentleman asked
for my address, I burst into tears…it was the first time I fully realized that
I didn’t even have a home address to give him. I was at an absolute low and
more stressed than I had ever been – I was exhausted and didn’t know how much
more I could do, and I was honestly getting tired of trusting God. The very
next day though, I received a call while at the store for more boxes from one
of the apartment complexes I had looked at – they were running a special which
made the rent affordable for me. The best part? It was available in one week! I
crouched in the store aisle and cried in relief…God had provided just in time. :)
The next week, I signed my lease and moved into my beautiful
new place. I hadn’t even brought a box upstairs before I laid in the middle of
the living room floor, just staring at the ceiling and thanking God for the
blessing of the apartment. The sense of relief I had is absolutely
indescribable.
Lots of people are surprised to find out that I commute at
least an hour to work one way – many ask why I don’t move out of New Jersey and
closer to the office. But it’s this very piece of my life that prevents me from
moving. Given the events of last fall, I know that God has ordained this
physical space for this season of my life, and this apartment has been one of
the greatest testimonies to God’s faithfulness and provision in my life. It has
been a place of healing, a place of comfort, a place in which I have entered
into this stage of life called adulthood. It’s also a reminder that God can do
the things that we say we’ll never do….like live in New Jersey. ;) For the
first time since I left for college, I will live in the same space, full-time,
for more than 14 months, and God is teaching me to slow down, stay put, and be
content and present right where he has placed me.
And what a beautiful lesson that is to learn.
